(another blog entry typed, then immediately deleted from Amber's computer)

Today I had James take me back into the city. I like him. I don't want to mate with the man, but spending time with him doesn't disgust me.

I checked my lock box today. I hate admitting when I do that, but I live in a fucking tent. There's no way to get that kind of alone time without a hotel room. If he talks, and part of the reason I adore him is because he doesn't talk, people will just assume I'm counting money. Truth is all I keep in there is a handkerchief and make up.

Fucking Kennan. Why did you have to die so soon. You were the last piece of Amelia I had left. You dirty Metis sonofabitch. Amelia was supposed to be happy with her dirty gnawer, you were supposed to be Homid and the two of us were supposed to get fat and happy and watch our children play together. Now she's gone and you're dead and I swear to God my pussy's going to fuse shut around these mate happy bikers. It's like a regular sept during heat around here.

Fuck you for dying, and fuck me for crying about it. God I wanna kill something right now. I wonder if James'll hunt vampires with me.